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The aftershow party was at [livejournal.com profile] mals13's. I love her apartment for parties. It has an incredible good vibe: relaxed, varied, "come on in and take your top off"-inviting, filled with unassumingly trendy and enchanting furnishings, and mals13 and her roommates are laidback, fun hosts.

But last night there was a video camera.

Evidently it was there with mals13 blessing. By the time I asked about it, she said it'd been on for an hour, and that everyone knew. Well, *I* didn't know, and I felt like it was something of a break of faith. The comments below aren't directed at mals13 (or the camera's owner), and I'm not still annoyed at all; I just have a definite opinion on this, and I'm interested in others' thoughts on it.

Of course mals13 or any other party host is welcome to have cameras at their parties... but doing so is a break from the normal rules of Rocky parties: what happens at the party stays at the party. That rule isn't just a good idea. It's a vital assumption. It's there to cultivate an atmosphere where anyone can let it all out, without worrying about the consequences. It's not easy being sexually free or raw-bones open.

Rocky is a context for, among other things, exploring sexuality. Sexuality-- a core of our selves-- is complex, surprising, and shadowed in layers of societal nonsense. Opening it up and getting beyond all the layers is difficult work, and ultra-sensitive to the situation you're doing it in. The more you're concerned with the future (as when there's a camera in the room), the more you're taken out of the present, the only place where sexuality lives. Not having cameras doesn't guarantee for that special context for sexuality, but it's an important piece. The right mix happens so rarely anyway.

The rule is also there to protect people-- especially the ones who aren't willing to ask for that protection. There are members of Rocky and visitors to Rocky who could get into problems with their friends, family, work, and future plans if anything got out. Keeping records is forcing them to trust you, or assuming that you know their situation well enough to positively know that it wouldn't be a problem. I don't consider that an ethical stance.

As Rocky, we are the chauffeurs of a valuable treasure: our Arc of the Covenant is the Rocky party. It is unique and sorely needed in our world. If we treat it well, it will shower us with gifts and allow us to bring light into the lives of others who visit our temple. We don't have to use it every week-- other kinds of parties are fun too-- but I hold it in special regard and do not want to see it corrupted.

This is a core aspect of what Rocky parties mean to me. If someone wants to have another kind of party I think attendees should be warned.

Date: 2007-02-20 12:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jrising.livejournal.com
I like your idea for a voyeur party-- any idea where we can get that kind of equipment?

I agree with what you say about common camera courtesy and protocol. But Rocky parties are another kind of beast-- or at least they can be. Every kind of technology has wide-spread effects on social situations. Not as a immutable rule, but as a general rule, cameras are one technology that I don't think we want.

Unless you're given permission by the party host for bringing your camera, or the expectations change, you probably should not bring it to a Rocky party. Or if you bring it, don't bring it out except for a specific shot that you've gotten permission for.

Date: 2007-02-20 12:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] g-w-s.livejournal.com
Aye, I doubt you've seen my camera. I'm usually only taking pictures of my friends that want their pictures taken - pretty safe. It's too new and expensive to leave out all night anyways (I will spill beer on it). =)

(Besides, my camera sees most of its rocky-related use either before the shows or after the parties.)

Where could you get that equipment? I think a small number of small-sized black/white monitors would be ideal, but I'd think that any small tv would do. Lots of people have cameras (though few have more than one), and if it's a party I'm attending, I'd definitely be able to bring at least one. Get a bunch of people to do the same and you're all set. It can be made obvious that there is no tape present. For something like that, you'd have to plan it out - coordinate between people bringing equipment. It's not unmanageable, I don't think.

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