[FBC] Cameras at Parties
Feb. 19th, 2007 04:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jrisingThe aftershow party was at ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
mals13's. I love her apartment for parties. It has an incredible good vibe: relaxed, varied, "come on in and take your top off"-inviting, filled with unassumingly trendy and enchanting furnishings, and mals13 and her roommates are laidback, fun hosts.
But last night there was a video camera.
Evidently it was there with mals13 blessing. By the time I asked about it, she said it'd been on for an hour, and that everyone knew. Well, *I* didn't know, and I felt like it was something of a break of faith. The comments below aren't directed at mals13 (or the camera's owner), and I'm not still annoyed at all; I just have a definite opinion on this, and I'm interested in others' thoughts on it.
Of course mals13 or any other party host is welcome to have cameras at their parties... but doing so is a break from the normal rules of Rocky parties: what happens at the party stays at the party. That rule isn't just a good idea. It's a vital assumption. It's there to cultivate an atmosphere where anyone can let it all out, without worrying about the consequences. It's not easy being sexually free or raw-bones open.
Rocky is a context for, among other things, exploring sexuality. Sexuality-- a core of our selves-- is complex, surprising, and shadowed in layers of societal nonsense. Opening it up and getting beyond all the layers is difficult work, and ultra-sensitive to the situation you're doing it in. The more you're concerned with the future (as when there's a camera in the room), the more you're taken out of the present, the only place where sexuality lives. Not having cameras doesn't guarantee for that special context for sexuality, but it's an important piece. The right mix happens so rarely anyway.
The rule is also there to protect people-- especially the ones who aren't willing to ask for that protection. There are members of Rocky and visitors to Rocky who could get into problems with their friends, family, work, and future plans if anything got out. Keeping records is forcing them to trust you, or assuming that you know their situation well enough to positively know that it wouldn't be a problem. I don't consider that an ethical stance.
As Rocky, we are the chauffeurs of a valuable treasure: our Arc of the Covenant is the Rocky party. It is unique and sorely needed in our world. If we treat it well, it will shower us with gifts and allow us to bring light into the lives of others who visit our temple. We don't have to use it every week-- other kinds of parties are fun too-- but I hold it in special regard and do not want to see it corrupted.
This is a core aspect of what Rocky parties mean to me. If someone wants to have another kind of party I think attendees should be warned.
mals13's. I love her apartment for parties. It has an incredible good vibe: relaxed, varied, "come on in and take your top off"-inviting, filled with unassumingly trendy and enchanting furnishings, and mals13 and her roommates are laidback, fun hosts.But last night there was a video camera.
Evidently it was there with mals13 blessing. By the time I asked about it, she said it'd been on for an hour, and that everyone knew. Well, *I* didn't know, and I felt like it was something of a break of faith. The comments below aren't directed at mals13 (or the camera's owner), and I'm not still annoyed at all; I just have a definite opinion on this, and I'm interested in others' thoughts on it.
Of course mals13 or any other party host is welcome to have cameras at their parties... but doing so is a break from the normal rules of Rocky parties: what happens at the party stays at the party. That rule isn't just a good idea. It's a vital assumption. It's there to cultivate an atmosphere where anyone can let it all out, without worrying about the consequences. It's not easy being sexually free or raw-bones open.
Rocky is a context for, among other things, exploring sexuality. Sexuality-- a core of our selves-- is complex, surprising, and shadowed in layers of societal nonsense. Opening it up and getting beyond all the layers is difficult work, and ultra-sensitive to the situation you're doing it in. The more you're concerned with the future (as when there's a camera in the room), the more you're taken out of the present, the only place where sexuality lives. Not having cameras doesn't guarantee for that special context for sexuality, but it's an important piece. The right mix happens so rarely anyway.
The rule is also there to protect people-- especially the ones who aren't willing to ask for that protection. There are members of Rocky and visitors to Rocky who could get into problems with their friends, family, work, and future plans if anything got out. Keeping records is forcing them to trust you, or assuming that you know their situation well enough to positively know that it wouldn't be a problem. I don't consider that an ethical stance.
As Rocky, we are the chauffeurs of a valuable treasure: our Arc of the Covenant is the Rocky party. It is unique and sorely needed in our world. If we treat it well, it will shower us with gifts and allow us to bring light into the lives of others who visit our temple. We don't have to use it every week-- other kinds of parties are fun too-- but I hold it in special regard and do not want to see it corrupted.
This is a core aspect of what Rocky parties mean to me. If someone wants to have another kind of party I think attendees should be warned.
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no subject
Date: 2007-02-20 04:58 pm (UTC)It is up to the host. Rocky rules are one thing but ultimately the Host is in charge.
Maybe next time (if there is a next time) Mali (or whoever) could put a sign on the door as people enter and/or add the detail about filiming to the LJ post and/or list email. As it is up to the Host what goes on at a Party, it is courtesy to do your best to inform everyone and let them make their own decisions as to particiaption
no subject
Date: 2007-02-20 10:08 pm (UTC)I don't have much to hide from a camera, but it does make me feel different, and I know I'll never be quite as free if they're around.
no subject
Date: 2007-02-21 05:12 am (UTC)When somebody finally said something about the camera, once it entered the room where people were gathered and having fun, I should have said something then, but I let the room duke it out. I don't like making decisions for so many people, I might be the host, but I don't want to be the one blamed for ruining a good time. Heh, go figure.
I definitely agree with you. I should have taken a better stand on the situation, but hindsight is 20/20, right?