[FBC] Cameras at Parties

[jrising]

The aftershow party was at mals13's. I love her apartment for parties. It has an incredible good vibe: relaxed, varied, "come on in and take your top off"-inviting, filled with unassumingly trendy and enchanting furnishings, and mals13 and her roommates are laidback, fun hosts.

But last night there was a video camera.

Evidently it was there with mals13 blessing. By the time I asked about it, she said it'd been on for an hour, and that everyone knew. Well, *I* didn't know, and I felt like it was something of a break of faith. The comments below aren't directed at mals13 (or the camera's owner), and I'm not still annoyed at all; I just have a definite opinion on this, and I'm interested in others' thoughts on it.

Of course mals13 or any other party host is welcome to have cameras at their parties... but doing so is a break from the normal rules of Rocky parties: what happens at the party stays at the party. That rule isn't just a good idea. It's a vital assumption. It's there to cultivate an atmosphere where anyone can let it all out, without worrying about the consequences. It's not easy being sexually free or raw-bones open.

Rocky is a context for, among other things, exploring sexuality. Sexuality-- a core of our selves-- is complex, surprising, and shadowed in layers of societal nonsense. Opening it up and getting beyond all the layers is difficult work, and ultra-sensitive to the situation you're doing it in. The more you're concerned with the future (as when there's a camera in the room), the more you're taken out of the present, the only place where sexuality lives. Not having cameras doesn't guarantee for that special context for sexuality, but it's an important piece. The right mix happens so rarely anyway.

The rule is also there to protect people-- especially the ones who aren't willing to ask for that protection. There are members of Rocky and visitors to Rocky who could get into problems with their friends, family, work, and future plans if anything got out. Keeping records is forcing them to trust you, or assuming that you know their situation well enough to positively know that it wouldn't be a problem. I don't consider that an ethical stance.

As Rocky, we are the chauffeurs of a valuable treasure: our Arc of the Covenant is the Rocky party. It is unique and sorely needed in our world. If we treat it well, it will shower us with gifts and allow us to bring light into the lives of others who visit our temple. We don't have to use it every week-- other kinds of parties are fun too-- but I hold it in special regard and do not want to see it corrupted.

This is a core aspect of what Rocky parties mean to me. If someone wants to have another kind of party I think attendees should be warned.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

This is the real world, and things aren't black and white. Despite the quaintness of the idea, there aren't any "rules" about Rocky parties. There are assumptions, sure, but the only assumption I've ever clung to is "nothing is predictable about Rocky parties".

Were grown ups. The camera was visible and obvious. Some people didn't want to be taped, and they weren't./ Some people encouraged it, and they were taped. No one had to do anything or not doo anything they did or didnt want to do, regardless of the camera, no one was pressured to do anything, no one was forced to stay, and only two people objected to it. The rest of the party, including the hosts, didnt have a probem with it, or liked it, so it stayed, its that simple, majority rules.

Rocky parties are in general an environment that fosters opening up and getting crazy, but that doesnt mean you are PRIVLEDGED to come to someone elses house and do wahtever you want. Youre as free to explore your sexuality or engage in illegal acts, as anyone else is free to tape it.

While I see this as a facinating and relevant discussion topic, I also see it as a non-issue. There was more than one room at the party.

No offense meant, none taken, thats my .02

[jrising.livejournal.com]

"Majority rules" is exactly what I want to avoid.

Sure, anyone is capable of bringing a camera to parties. When that happens, we each get to decide individually how we want to respond. We could make those decisions caring only for what we individually want. Or we could be conscious of the way our decisions affect others. One way to do that is LJ discussion.

Rules aren't just a quaint idea; they're labels for the the expectations that make us a community. We're adults, so we get to choose our rules-- we get to create the atmosphere we choose, or be stuck with the atmosphere of the most common denominator.

[overstim.livejournal.com]

That was me by the way- i have no idea why i popped up as anonymous.