[muse] Wasted on the Young

[jrising]

There was such a bad reaction to Jim that I'm going to go with James instead. I won't stop anyone from using Jimmy, but I'm going to change what I call myself. There are endless silly pros and cons and more exciting options, but hey, it's just a name.

I've been thinking about youth.

I'm in awe of a friend of mine. She has a husband, a career, a house, a dog; she's had a history of excellence in Rocky and been a leader of the community since before I joined. She approaches life as a vibrant adult, grounded but still growing. So I've always looked to her as a role model. And she's a year younger than me.

Some part of me still conceives of myself as a student, a youth, a troublemaker without a cause and without the wherewithal to be a true rebel. When I teach or organize or lead, it's with a tongue in cheek chic of a boy among boys. I have the experience and understanding to do more. And the capacity to take the endless responsibility and the responsibility to do it to my full capacity.

But there's plenty of time to be old. I never want to stop adventuring with life. I love my younger friends as peers, and I think rightly so: I'm always being impressed by their initiative, maturity, and experience. I don't want to give up my million playtime projects or get a job with a title that pretends to define me. I don't want to settle, or even settle in.

The brochure for life doesn't advertise any good packages for this. I want the best of both youth and adulthood. I'm supposed to be getting a pet (if not a child), a car (if not a house), start drinking beer regularly, stop getting too excited. But I don't want to be a tree: I'm a pond plant, growing deep roots while still living in a totally fluid world.

And it's not just me. The brochure we got was out of date when we were born. We need a new paradigm. A phase in life that acknowledges how changeable things are in the era of the internet, where people discover new interests, communities, careers, selves every five years.

I'm writing up a description of who I am when I'm at my best, in my zone, getting the most out of the incredible life I've already built and discovered around me. I want that to be James. Maybe it's time to re-read King, Warrior, Magician, Lover.

Thoughts? Is it a bore to read my inner musings? I know others are in similar situations: has anyone else found such a paradigm?

Comments

[d-day.livejournal.com]

Tracy and Ruthie are damn cool :)

On a related note... I have something that bothers me. When I meet new people I have a hard time not asking "What do you do?". I hate that question. It places too much importance on what people do for money. It's also terribly presumptutious (sp?) because it is generally accepted that "do" = "job".
At my High School Reunion, as the Doctors and Lawyers milled about asking this question I made a point of extending the answer a bit by included unexpected details, like about my acting or working on the house.

In the end I think it's all linked to my contempt for the fact that we all have to work so damn hard for so much of our lives, instead of living in a big Hippie Utopia.

I need to find another easy "getting to know you" question that doesn't seem too odd.

[senor-don-gato.livejournal.com]

I hate that question: "What do you do?" Last time someone asked me that, I responded that I sleep and read and walk a lot, I perform most weekends, I spend a lot of time with friends, and so on .... Sometimes my answer annoys people, but more often than not it allows you to speed past conventional, empty conversation. If you come up with a good, non-awkward "getting to know you" question, let me know : )

[g-w-s.livejournal.com]

Yeah, if someone tells me what they do for work in response to that, I will typically say "besides that.. 'cause everyone works." If someone asks me the same question, I'll usually start off by saying I'm a singer, or I live for the outdoors.. or I'll just start making it up. I rather enjoy making up elaborate back-stories on the fly. I've definitely convinced people I was a street performer in harvard square before - not that I can actually claim the same credit that those (mostly) talented individuals possess, but rather I consider it a tribute - artists often hold more interesting lives. I usually fess up after I've broken the ice and generated a few grins.. (I have a few friends that are regular performers in the square, so it is in fact at times wishfully vicarious).

My question suggestion: don't worry about not making them feel awkward, because the people you really want to meet are going to be intrigued by awkward questions.

[http://users.livejournal.com/little_e_/]

Heh. I was recently fired--for a while, every time someone asked me what I do, I'd get all shifty eyed and just try to run away. Oh yes, the day I got fired, I went to dinner with a bunch of my husband's workmates (lawyers, all of them.) "So what do you do?" "I got fired today, thanks for asking." :(

Now I tell people I'm a 'freelance artist'. It's almost true.

[jrising.livejournal.com]

I love Tracy and Ruthie, and I hope I get to know them better, but it was you I was talking about, dummy.

I totally agree, and I usually try to ask different, more wordy questions because a person's job isn't what I'm usually interested in. In the right situations, I've used "What's your gig?" with some success. It more directly asks what a person does for money, but with less implication that that's their life.

I'm still holding out for the big Hippie Utopia. I don't know if this is what you mean by having to work so hard, but I was talking with my mom about how hard and confusing life can be. The brochure made life look so easy, and so cut and dried. We'd all get a rewarding job that would disappear into the hours from 9-5 except for providing occasional dinner discussion topics.